Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
