You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
please don't ironically join a cult
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