He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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