Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
