put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
