I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
