I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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