All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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