Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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