a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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