Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize