Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
