From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
