Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
