I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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