you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
