Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
