I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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