We need to rekindle our bromance
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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