I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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