I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
