ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
