hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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