You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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