I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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