I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she pinky promised me she was 18
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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