You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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