Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
