if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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