what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm always down for nudity.
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