Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
