he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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