how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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