I bet he comes in French.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
