I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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