...so i touched it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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