I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
