That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
