If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
