I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
