I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Girls should come with a carfax report
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
