just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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