My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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