glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize