Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
