i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
