She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
