Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
