he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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