Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
