If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
