And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize