so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize