He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I know her cup size but not her name....
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