Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
