Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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