Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
