"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
