Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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