I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I forget how to act sober
Randomize