wanna go halves on a baby?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
