so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
