Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize