I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
