ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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