You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
