Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
