I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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