theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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