Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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