My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
