I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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