end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize